


House of Memories

by aleigha



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Forgetting, M/M, Post-High School, Regret
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-05
Updated: 2017-10-05
Packaged: 2019-01-09 07:53:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12272130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aleigha/pseuds/aleigha
Summary: Iwaizumi tries really hard to forget Oikawa, so hard he might have even forgotten himself.





	House of Memories

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know where this came from, it just kinda happened. Title taken from House of Memories by P!ATD  
> It's really, really short so sorry about that.

He didn’t remember much about Oikawa. Tried to forget him actually. Once he got into college he tried to remove the memories out of his brain. He tried everything. Sex. Drinking. Smoking. Not sleeping. Sometimes his face would appear in his dreams, and it would always be so close to when he had almost forgot him, had almost stopped seeing how Oikawa would cling to him as if he was a ghost above his memories, but he would always see him in his dreams one night and suddenly remember every little detail about him. The way he used to scream his silly pet name, the face he would make when he would watch himself serve the ball on tapes, the way his face looked when he did a jump serve, and the look of frustration when he would miss, his snide comments said in that silky, stern voice.

And finally, _finally_ Iwaizumi had learned to forget the little things.

He still remembered those big events. Volleyball matches, times Oikawa had hurt himself, the first time they kissed and the last time they broke-up. He knew that Oikawa was in them, but in his memories he had just become a figure filling in the space for Oikawa, not really there, and blurry if you focus on it. The details that made up Oikawa weren’t there, he had finally reached the point where he couldn’t see his smile, or remember the way he looked in glasses.

He had pictures of course, pictures of them with the team, pictures of them with friends. He wasn’t petty enough to cut Oikawa out of the photo. It would take too much effort to go through every photo, and they would end up looking weird. He also hadn’t deleted Oikawa’s number from his phone. What would be the reason for doing that? Iwaizumi didn’t need to do these things to forget him, he didn’t want to do these things. Maybe that was why it took so long for the memories to fade. For them to flutter away like his talents and passion. Like any of his emotions really.

Yes, Iwaizumi had managed to forget Oikawa. To wipe him off of the board, replacing him with a stick figure. But if Oikawa was wiped off of the board, then Iwaizumi’s stick figure was right next to his. By forcing himself to forget Oikawa, he had forgotten himself too. He couldn’t remember the little things he used to do, what mannerisms he might have had, what his laugh sounded like, or what faces he made when frustrated with Oikawa. All he remembered were the big events in his life, but he couldn’t really tell how he felt in any of them, couldn’t remember his emotions at the time. He felt like he was looking at a placeholder for himself, standing alongside Oikawa’s placeholder. Two figures who went through the actions of the event, but were completely blocked off from Iwaizumi. He could only watch them, wondering how he felt at the time.

If he was going to cut Oikawa out of the pictures then he would need to cut himself out as well, and he just couldn’t remember where he was supposed to get the motivation to do that from.


End file.
